just karen

Sunday, October 30, 2005 ; 2:00 PM

Had the most vivid dream ever this morning, so vivid that even after I had got up visited the loo & went back to bed, it was still recapping in the mind.

I dreamt I went away on a holiday marriage. It started with me telling my mother that I will be away for a few days before leaving for the airport & the next scene I was in, was a nice island resort. (I remembered it was Bali that I left for).

Next I remembered the wedding day came. Not knowing how I was in a nice white gown and a nice necklace and I was making my way to the venue alone. I was to marry my ex colleague. (Ironically, in life he is already a married man). When I was at the venue, I was greeted with a warm smile by the groom, a nice sparkling ring and a nice bouquet of flowers.

But suddenly, the groom told me that he could not marry me and came another gal in white gown too. Next I saw the flowers I had in her hands and it was re-wrapped in another layer of wrappers and ribbons. I snatched the bouquet from her and took the second layer of wraps off to find inside a small card that the groom has written for me and a ring in the small card envelope. This scene I was already in tears. Happiness tears I recalled. Funny, you have here your groom snatched and there you are tearing in happiness seeing the card and ring. On the outer layer was the card for that imaginary gal (which I cannot quite see her face). I know her as Anxi from the name on her card.

Now I got myself to the hotel lobby trying to check myself into a room which the groom has pre-arranged for me. The conceige staff has a unique way of checking in. She took and electronic toothbrush out and insert it into a system to read. A few attempts and she could not get me checkec in. Frustrated as I was and soon I know I was with the groom and he got everything settled. Pleased of cause was I.

Next scene I was in was in the hotel room, where there were 2 other men. (Black guys.) I recall I was changed in a purple can-can style evening gown and was looking into the mirror then I went into the changing room to change into a white tube gown. 1 black guy told me the purple one was better, more stunning before I saw myself in the purple gown again. Then I made way to the open air yard where the solomization would take place. When I was there, the groom and Anxi was already exchanging vows when I stood in a corner witnessing the entire event.

Next place I found myself was me back in Singapore. I knew my weddding was called off but I was not bothered that the groom was marrying someone else there. I rememebered calling another friend (dunno came from where suddenly). Telling her that I have left my gown, necklace, ring and flowers in Bali and she must bring all back home for me. I repeated myself a few times before I woke up.

Went to the toilet to pee and I crawled back to bed again. I went back into the dreams again. This time it was like a fast recap. Everything that happened sort of rewinded and fast foreward again, very vivid. I woke up soon, and I was thinking back of the dreams. Complex is the word.

I recalled there was once I dreamt of crying in the dreams. I actually had hot tears in my eyes when I woke up.

It is really how some dreams can be so real..

Sidenote: I think its too much thinking that got me into such dreams.. Hmmmm... Pleasant still. :)

Off I go. To Simei again.

Ciao~

YYY

Tuesday, October 25, 2005 ; 11:20 PM

Suddenly after dinner now, I am not able to focus and think properly. Must be the screaming of my brother earlier that has got me too agitated and with food in the stomach now, the circulation is channelled.

Okie dok, without further ado, lets roll in this weekly updates.

Work

- Into the second week now, has gone thru some training so far. Started off with the simpler segment of training, I was told by the seniors that the other 3 segments would be more demanding.

- Drawed my notebook early this week, so its good companion. At least I would be able to do some surfing when I do not have much to do and it can keep "周公" away. I am thankful I have eng eng & hui hui online to help me kill some boredom.

- Still in the phase of names & facial familiarization. I think I can only rememeber 10 out of the 30odd names. I should walk around more to their cubicles and start mingling with them.

- I paid for free coffee at the vending machine. Dropped in 40cents to dispense a cup, heard coins drop but din notice it was at the change slot. Walked off happily with the coffee. The next day I paid for coffee again and I heard coins drop out too. My aunty colleague was in the pantry with me as well and I asked her if she wants coffee, she said okie, so I took out money again. She asked me why I am paying, only then I realised hot beverages are free. *hide face* So, to that chap out there who took my hard earned 40cents!!! U! U! U!!! hee~

Leisure

- Last Saturday I went out Shopping & food with the expired Nutrionists (including myself - expired as well). The shoes I bought were givng me problems. The black 1 ripped 4 pieces of fresh flesh from the corners and the brown 1 gives painful soles after walking too much. Then again, the 3 other pairs of high heels I used did not give open wounds, maybe only aches which will go off the next day. I miss those track shoes day.

- This Sat, had breakfast with my mum at BK Simei followed by some clothes shopping. BK serves OILY croissonwich but having quality time with mama was good. We went to Bega to look at some clothes afterewhich, tried a top and mum insisted I try their skirts out (she thinks I need 1 or 2 more dark coloured shirts) but I turned her goodwill down of asking me to try them by brushing her off saying I cannot fit into their size. I was abit rude to her cos she was alittle persistant and the salesgal on the other hand was also too pushy, I ended up revealing some anger. I tried the skirts in the afternoon when I went out with eng eng and found out I could actually fit, so I am terribly sorry mama. "对不起, 妈妈!"

- Went to Toa Payph with eng eng in the late noon. Had bland Pastamania for dinner. Had to stir in lotsa cheese, some salt and plenty tabasco in order to make it more palatable.

- Visited many "啊婶" boutique to search for some tops but in vain.

- Dated the "rumoured couple" for KTV session. The gal when dated, brushed me off saying she has a customer in the store suddenly and will call me back. The guy told me he has pre-arrangement when I invited, saying he will response me in 10 mins time. The 2 of them ended up showing face together. The guy changed his phone sometimes back and I asked for him to show it to me. I saw their photo as the wall paper and the guy call list "his pre-arranged" friend record at the time I invited. I conclude that they can surface their underground relationship liao. Nothing shameful, 1 aint married woman, the other aint attached man and vise versa. This also wrapped up my paparazzi activities. Tired from the tales and questioning liao.

- Sang till 3am and went home in taxi with eng eng. The guy din wanted to send us back today. Unlike the normal him. Priority given to "her". Sigh, Love heads friendship. Eng eng, we 2 can start planning activities for 2 liao. Includes the singles better, don't have to act so unnaturally.

- Sunday was a lazy day in. Slept late till close to noon, had brunch and watched some tv. Started on the Sang Doo series but cannot seems to progress after Disc 2. Think I do have lesser time now after starting work. Weekends are for other precious activities u hardly can use them for tv.

Okie dok, I must stop now and bring this to post. At least it can help keep the free lab tech occupied for awhile.. :p (don't flood my tag board).

Enough of whines... 晚安 folks~

YYY

Wednesday, October 12, 2005 ; 9:11 PM

I feel so secondary student again suddenly.

Waking up at 6.30am to get out early, attending orientation, learning new things, meeting new people.

Today is the 1st day I report, waited for 40 mins at the lobby before I was finally picked up by the secretary. Had my security pass photo snapped & issued. I look like flabby Jay in the pic, all thanks to the security department.

Went thru orientation with my new lady boss before some of my new coligs brought me out for a 2hr lunch break. I was a little worried when I return to office to see my boss at her desk. Indeed for a day 1er, 2 hrs is abit too much.

Oh, talk about meeting my new team mates, I recalled repeating "Hello, my name is Karen. Please to meet you" for 30times. Yes, I belong to the CSO team of 30. Cannot remember names & faces, have to slowly do it.

Orientation wise, alot of new jargons. Alot IT and business related. The morning portion was quite okie, could manage to absorb the information but when you load carbohydrate, the syndrome sets in. At 3.30pm I was starting to feel lethagic already. Luckily some walking could get me back.

Training starts tomorrow. I aint sure what is it going to be like, but the training manual was enough to set me on knees. I read it, I could not understand it, I kept it in the drawer and went home :)

Enough of blabbering~ Off to turn in early like a school kid.

Have a good 1 tomorrow~

& Ben 'n' Jerry is waitng for us on saturday.. Yippie..

YYY

Tuesday, October 11, 2005 ; 2:00 AM

5 pieces of new shirts = S$160

1 pair of new court shoes = RM$50

More pairs of new work shoes = Indefinate

More pieces of new work clothes = Indefinate

More new work bags = Indefinate

With "sasa" card, New Admin Job = "Priceless"

Hee hee hee~ I think "sasa" card indeed has made their mark..

Okie now back to serious talk. Working in an environment thats does not even allows you a Friday wear is so damaging to the wallet. I really can "kaotow" executive women whom can manage their wardrobe well.

Shopping for workwear is never an easy task for me. Especially for women like me with EXTRA PADDINGS!! Hee~

So I really must say kudos to brands like "Dor-A-ty Perk Perks", "Rob-A-Son" and some 芝麻绿豆小 brands in the neighbourhood whom carries sizes that don't make us look like pandan leaves wrapped "Ba Zhang". But I am super "猫" when it comes to spending on clothes.. Sigh.. How to strike a balance between $$ & satisfaction leh? Spend more time shopping loh till can get value for money buys..

I am off searching for 1 pair of low heels to ease walking and standing long hrs, wish me good catches..

I should go more european countries to shop for wardrobe ah. There I am sure I can fit into petite sizes.. BUT air tickets are bombs. So, I should give myself more excuses like holidays so that I can facilitate shopping there as well. Talk about holidays, I think I am way due for 1. When, where & how about saving up for it leh? I think criusing from 2am - 6am in the dreams is the fastest option.. *Dream on*

Okie dok. Time to sign off.. It's shopping tomorrow again~

Have a good 1 folks...

Oh! Names of brands are changed in view of loyalty fringes. Wait till the sponsor me lifetime wardrobe 1st lah.. then I would help them 打广告.

YYY

Monday, October 10, 2005 ; 1:30 AM

What happens when 1 spends 2 hours finish part 1 of an e-training module, exit with selection saying "Training not completed" but only to find out in horror that the results of the Pre & Post Assessment tests you took where not recorded. (When the nice system message can say "Test results transmitted").

Well: Cannot blame any1, Re-login and do the tests again.

Here I am at 7.15pm on the lazy Sunday evening logged into the system to run the Lotus Notes Training programme, taking all in all 4.5hrs (with dinner, toilet & water breaks in between) to finally complete & I swear I virtually completed every single section of the 3 parts training module. Just when results was to be transmitted, there lies a window that says "Session Timeout" but slow Karen perpectually ignored the window, did not put in the login email & password before exiting the programme. There we have the nice friendly system message saying "Results transmitted" again. But it was super fishy.. So I logged in again to check. To my freaking horror this time.. FREAK! is the word! My test results are better off as virtual spirits.

With a distress mind & weary body, I had resigned to faith. Dug out from the cabinet my comfort food.. and I started eating away the little Hello Panda 饼饼. I guess this is the only way I can make myself feel better. Well, I can have option 2 that is to go down to MacDonalds and destress with desserts but I shan't 自爆自气. Negotiate with the agent tomorrow to see what's the outcome and work from there. If I am really required to do the training for the 3rd time, I make sure there is no such things as "session timeout" AGAIN! Once bitten, twice shy. Three times? I'm scared of dogs liao!!

I think I'm off to put this drained pruned like body to good washing and sleep..

Nite folks >_<

Karen sings: 有三只熊熊住在一起. 爸爸熊, 妈妈熊, baby 熊.

YYY

Saturday, October 01, 2005 ; 2:03 AM

Goodness.
Looking at the last post, it has been donkey yrs since i've last written.
I admit I am being super lazy here.

So now with some motivation, I've changed a blogskin and did some teeny weeny revamps. I must admit I am so bad with stuff of such.

Still with some fumbles here & there, I've managed to give it a "new" look.

Still figuring how to use fanciful blogskins & use audio clips. But I think that would take me some time. Meanwhile I am really contented with what I have.

Give me ur comments & a helping hand if u really cannot stand my "sense" yeah.

Talk alittle about what I went thru today. Traumatic is the word.
Had to go thru chains of rationals to come to a decision to take up a job offer or not. I would say it was roller coaster. But it was good reflection, for it allows me to understand myself better. I've concluded: I am indecisive & greedy. The reflection process was good thou. Makes me a stronger being. Allowed me to know my strengths & weakness. Guess I need more of such to keep my feet on planet ground better.

Anyway, I declined the job offer in view they did not allow a time frame of 1 week consideration. In return, them whom were firm in getting me to decide by today ended up making way and gave grace till Wed. Still the job is declined. Despite the fact that I can earn double fold or triple here. I 've decided to survive on bread & venture into an industry that provides me a learning environment. Learning in terms of new skills & not just selling which I used to do.

So much so for jobs offer. I'm waiting for positive response from the rest till the later week.

On a lighter note...
Tomorrow is Children's Day.
With compliments from Ms Hui & gang, 28 yrs ah soh here & many many other old kids as what she claims will gather for a grill session.. I am so looking forward to it. It's a meet the old gang time again.. Splendid.

Meanwhile, it's bedtime after "mating" 10hrs or so with the PC. We both need good rest now..

Nite folks~

YYY